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  • Writer's pictureLisa Neville

Ask a sex coach- Is it ok to masturbate?

Is it ok to masturbate?


Short answer! Yes! Absolutely!


I prefer the term Self Pleasure, however for this blog post I will use the word Masturbate. I will talk about my preference for the term Self Pleasure in a future blog post.


Masturbation is a normal and natural behavior. It's a healthy way to explore your body, what feels good and how to achieve orgasm.


Masturbation also allows you to explore your unique sexual interests so you can express those interests to your partner.


How much is too much? That is based you as an individual. Some clients masturbate several times a day, once a week or once a month. Some don't masturbate at all.


I coach my clients to do what feels right to them. It isn't problem unless it starts replacing other aspects of a healthy and balanced life. If it starts interfering with social activities, school, work or other responsibilities then it becomes a problem.


I will talk more about unhealthy masturbation next week.


Even though masturbation is a common and natural part of learning about our Sexuality, some of my clients feel a lot of shame or embarrassment around it.


Clients have heard that masturbation could cause blindness, infertility, and reduce sexual function. Others were even told that self pleasure was a sexual perversion.



Here are 10 Benefits of Masturbation


1. Pain Relief

  • Masturbating helps relieve the pain of Endometriosis.

An orgasm creates a series of muscle contractions in the pelvic floor. Essentially, orgasming is like a mini workout for your pelvic floor.


Pelvic floor exercises can be extremely important for those who suffer from pain during sex due to Endometriosis or men with who deal with premature ejaculation.

  • Masturbation can help ease pain.

Got a headache? Feeling a little sore from your last work out? Try masturbating!


Masturbating can have pain relieving benefits. Having an orgasm releases dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. These are our bodies feel good hormones.


One classic study by famous Sexologist Beverly Whipple PHD RN found that vaginal stimulation can actually increase women's pain tolerance by 40%. That's pretty impressive!


  • Masturbating can help with period cramps.

Biologically speaking, when a woman is having her period we are shedding something called the Endometrial lining. Sometimes the uterus contracts to help the process along which can result in some very uncomfortable cramps.


However, those feel good neurotransmitters; dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin that you get when you masturbate can put up quite a fight against those cramps.




2. stress Relief


Think about it.... during your last pleasurable experience masturbating, were you thinking about your never ending list of things to do or what you were going to have for dinner? Probably not!


Sexual pleasure by masturbating forces us to tune into our body's reaction to pleasure, rather than staying in our head where we are preoccupied and stressed.


When a solo masturbation session includes orgasm, there are additional stress busting benefits! A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that orgasming releases oxytocin which results in decreased levels of cortisol in the body. When cortisol is decreased so are the feelings of stress.


3. Masturbating makes you happier

Seriously!


Masturbating can make you feel happier! Who doesn't want to feel happier?


Masturbation activates the parts of the brain responsible for pleasure like the hypothalamus. It also decreases the parts of the brain responsible for fear and anxiety.


So, if you find yourself smiling more and with more pep in your step after increasing your masturbation practice you know why!



Empowered woman, masturbation


4. masturbating increases your libido


Masturbating can make you want more not less sex.


We like to do things that make us feel good right?


We get a surge of dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin during sex, sex feels good and we want more.


I encourage my clients that have a clit and struggle to get turned on to masturbate regularly. It is great for someone with a lower sex drive.


I recommend this for my clients with a dick too. If they are struggling with coming too fast or want to last longer in bed, masturbating before partnered sex can help them last longer. It takes them longer to come the 2nd time.


Of course, it is not a guarantee for everyone because bodies are different.


Just keep in mind the amount of time it usually takes your body to be ready for sex again.


5. improves sleep


Having an orgasm before going to bed can help you fall asleep faster. Masturbating quiets your mind.


There is also a release of oxytocin. This helps to promote sleep.



6. You feel more energized


Not everyone gets sleepy after sex. For some it may depend on the time of day whether or not they are energized after sex.


The only way to find out if to do it. Trial and error. Sounds fun to me!


If you get a kick of energy in the morning after orgasming, a quick morning orgasm may be a great way to start your day! Climax then coffee!


7. It improves your skin

I am sure you have had or seen the after sex glow.


It's a real thing!


The beauty benefits of sex are real and they also apply when you masturbate.

The skin boosting benefits go beyond just the "sex flush".


One study done by the Journal of Sex Medicine found having an orgasm increases your body's estrogen levels. Estrogen is known to help with healthier looking skin and hair.


Masturbating also reduces stress levels which can reduce some of the body's stress responses like the over production of sweat and acne.


So, a regular masturbation practice really can make your skin look clearer.


I don't know about you, I would rather have a regular visit with my vibrator than a regular visit at the dermatologist.


8. You Get to know your body better


Masturbating is a way to get in touch with your body and to learn what turns you on.


Unfortunately, some of my clients don't really know what turns them on.


I encourage my clients to masturbate daily if possible. It helps them to know what types of touch their body enjoys.


Masturbating allows you to explore what touches, pressures, intensities and strokes your body responds to.


9. increases pleasurable partner play


We might want our partners to just intuitively know where our "Oooooo" spots are. Guess what, they don't!


You can't expect your partner to be a mind reader of your body.


You need to communicate what feels good to you.



By masturbating you learn exactly what makes you feel good. Then you can take that information back to your partner.


It's a win, win!


10. builds confidence


Masturbating is essential for developing self awareness, body awareness, self acceptance and confidence.


As my clients become more confident in the bedroom they often become more confident outside of the bedroom too.


Masturbation is empowering. We get to know what we want and in turn can ask for what we want.


Conclusion


The frequency and benefits of masturbating are highly individualized.


What pleases you might differ from what pleases your partner.


Masturbation is a healthy way to explore your unique sexual self. Who knows along the way you may begin to feel more relaxed, less stressed and your Sex Life may be amazing!


The more I can encourage people like you to get to know your own body, the more you can communicate what feel good to your partners.


So, stop reading my blog now and go masturbate!


ENJOY!


"Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love". Annie Hall



My love and I enjoying some time at The Outer Banks, NC.


We love being at the beach and what we love more is being together at the beach!


Lisa Neville

Sex and Intimacy Coach

Better Sex 4 U

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