top of page
  • Writer's pictureLisa Neville

Updated: Mar 23, 2022

Sex coaching is not sex therapy. In sex therapy, the therapist is a licensed mental health professional with an additional education in sexuality and sex topics. A sex therapist will explore your past and go into your childhood to help you heal from past wounds through coping skills and self-care. Usually, a sex therapist takes insurance and may diagnose a person with a disorder from the DSM V which is required by insurance companies.

As a sex coach, I help you with sexual concerns. I look at what is going on in the present moment and move you toward your sexual goals. I help you move from where you are to where you want to be. I offer insight into how you can improve your sex life and overcome erotic barriers. Your past experience will be a part of our conversation since there is important information to be gathered there to move forward. This can be very powerful and healing. Please hear this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Here are seven reasons clients reach out to me:

  • Low or no desire to have sex: There can be numerous causes for this. It could be the stresses of life, jobs, kids, or your relationship.

Is hard to find the time, much less the energy to want to have sex?

  • Wanting to reconnect with their partner: Sexual chemistry can fade in long term relationships. Maybe sex has become routine, mechanical or disconnected.

Do you feel more like roommates not lovers?

  • Wanting to have Better Sex: Curiosity is sexy! Many want to learn new skills and techniques.

How do you arouse your partner in and out of the bedroom? How can you better lover, and make your Sex Life the best it can be?

  • Never talking about sex with their partner: Maybe it's awkward or they just end up arguing every time one of you brings it up.

Does one of you get defensive or embarrassed? If so, nothing changes.

  • Not being able to ask for what they want or really don't know what they want: This is common. Most of us aren't taught to ask for what we want. Inside or outside of the bedroom!

Do you know what you want? Do you know how to ask for it? If your partner asked what you wanted sexually could you answer? Would you come up blank? If you do know what you want, can you ask for it? Are you worried what their reaction might be?

  • Body Image: Are they pretty enough? Is their penis big enough? Society and the media pressure us how we should and shouldn't look, how to act, what to say and not say about sex and our bodies.

Are you so distracted by the way you look that it is hard to enjoy sex? Maybe you can only have sex with the light off or clothes on?

  • Inability to have an orgasm or give an orgasm to their partner: Women often think something is wrong with them because they can't have an orgasm with their partner. Men think something is wrong with them because they feel they cannot get their partner to have an orgasm.

Do you ask yourself, is there something wrong with me? Why can't I orgasm? Why can't I get her to orgasm?

These are just some reasons my clients have reached out to me. It takes courage to ask for help in any situation. I believe even more so around sex. Society has made sex taboo. Our formative years made us believe that sex is only for having children, only between a man and a woman, never for pleasure. We have issues of shame, self-judgement and embarrassment when thinking of, exploring sex and asking for help.

Having an amazing Sex Life takes work! You deserve to find freedom in pleasure! You deserve to have the intimate, exciting and fulfilling Sex Life you crave!

I help you own and live in your true and authentic sexual selves. Both inside and outside of the bedroom. Sex is pleasure and pleasure is good!

I create a warm, welcoming, safe and accepting environment for my clients. Does embarrassment make that harder? Absolutely! Should you do it anyway? Absolutely! You will be glad you did!

My blog next week will be some tips about how I help you have Better Sex!

"It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover."

Marge Piercy

My Love and I enjoying a walk at the beautiful Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC.

68 views0 comments
  • Writer's pictureLisa Neville

In thinking about what I would like my first blog to be about it made sense to me to start with "Who am I and why would you trust me to help you with your sexual pleasure?"

I am a Bisexual woman. Happily married to the the love of my life! I was in a corporate roll as a Marketing and Admission Director of a very expensive Assisted Living and Memory Care community in Asheville, NC. I did my job well and loved the people and residents that I interacted with daily. However, the corporate world became less tolerable for me in a lot of different ways. So, I decided with my husband's support to start my own practice as a Sex and Intimacy Coach. Better Sex 4 U came to fruition.

I have always had a passion for wanting to help people become their true sexual selves. Loving who were as sexual beings is something that I believe can make the world a better place! Knowing that we are not broken! We are whole and complete just the way we are! We are all just different! We are all wired differently!

As a child, in a single parent home anything around sex was difficult for my family to discuss. Sex was not something to talk about. If it was talked about it was always negatively. It was always talked about as something dirty and taboo. Sex should only be experienced between a man and a woman who are MARRIED! Never because it felt good, never by touching yourself, and never should sex happen between people of the same gender! I am sure many of you experienced the same thing around sex when you were younger.

I was really sexual as most teenagers are. I enjoyed sex. I enjoyed the way it made me feel. I enjoyed knowing that I was helping someone else feel good. For me, it was a win, win! Until, I found out I was pregnant at the age of 14.

My life quickly changed! To say the least my mom was not happy! She barely spoke to me the whole time I was pregnant.

I heard all the nasty comments in the hall from other kids at school because I was pregnant. I was called a "slut." I was called a "whore." You name it, I heard it. I struggled to graduate from high school because my Guidance Counselor told me I should go ahead and quit. "There was no way I would graduate,"she said. I had my beautiful daughter at the age of 15! I would not change that for the world!

I have had two previous marriages and lots of relationships in between. My first marriage was physically, emotionally, mentally and verbally abusive. I fought to get out of that marriage with my life and the lives of my two other children.

My next marriage was a sexless marriage. It started out great! Sex was amazing until it wasn't. We were older, we had changed, our lives had changed.

You see, I lost my son in a house fire when he was only 24. He was able to help his fiancé's children and their friends out of the home and he didn't make it. That is the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life. I almost didn't survive that. That changes a person more than you could ever know unless you have been through it.

About a year later my husband at the time stopped wanting to have sex with me. Not because of our loss. But, in his words because I didn't look the way I used to when we were younger. He wasn't attracted to me anymore. He said, if I thought I could find someone who wanted to "dick me" for hours to go ahead and try to find them. He said, "No one out there is going to want you." I was devestated.

I felt ugly, ashamed, sad and angry. The only thing we still had in our marriage was the sex and it was gone. I started having an affair with a much younger man not long after that. I needed to feel desired, wanted, sexy and beautiful! And, YES! Dicked for hours! I left my marriage of almost 20 years and haven't looked back!

Again, I have always been very sexual. I enjoy trying new and different things. I have enjoyed many partners and there have been times that I have felt a lot of shame around that. I have worked on myself and no longer feel that shame. I continue to work on myself. We are ever changing human beings and our work is never done!

Through the work I have done on myself I found my husband, the love of my life. The man who gets me and really sees me. With his help and support, I came to realize that I am not broken!

I can ask for what I want. I can say no to what I don't want. I am whole and complete just the way I am. I am kinky! I am sensual! I am energetic! I am curious! I am adventurous! I am beautiful! Most of all, I am me! Who else could I be?

I want everyone to feel this way! This is what living a beautiful life really feels like. A life full of pleasure! In and out of the bedroom!

So, being a Sex and Intimacy Coach is what I am meant to do. I am here in this world, at this time to help people become their true sexual selves. Without guilt, without shame and without judgement, and full of pleasure! We accomplish this in a safe and confidential space where you feel accepted, supported by someone who truly cares, and can become your true sexual self.

Lisa Neville with her husband Mark

Sex and Intimacy Coach

88 views0 comments

Thanks for subscribing!

bottom of page